A Love Letter {and a spoonful of honesty}

Dearest Madeline,

I'd imagine it's hard being a guinea pig. A guinea pig to a very young momma just barely out of high school. Fortunately even though I didn't have a clue neither did you. It was suggested to me to put you up for adoption or to even abort you, but what a more than incredible blessing I would have missed out on. I had big (different) plans for my life, but God had better plans for me in you. Because of you I'm blessed with a husband that means more to me than words, a job that I love, and three sweet precious baby girls. For it was because of you that your daddy and I stayed together, grew up (quickly) together, and formed an incredible relationship through the trials of teen parenting. It was because of you that I decided to go into nursing instead of interior design. This was after a less then stellar experience at the health department the day I found out I was pregnant with you. And oh how I love nursing! For it was because of you that your daddy and I stayed together that we were blessed with two more beautiful girls. You have no idea what a blessing it will be to watch your two sisters look up to you and you teach them endlessly. You're such a little momma. I couldn't ask for a better big sister for Brynn and Eden.
I can't even begin to describe the emotion swelling in me while I share these thoughts. My mind goes in a hundred different directions thinking about how you've positively impacted my life. So many people would comment to me and say how amazing they thought I was for dropping you off at six days old to start my first day of college and finishing my BSN in four years. I couldn't do any of that without God, your daddy, and our family. We are blessed beyond measure sweet girl.
When you were a baby, I won't lie, I got very frustrated with not being able to be an average 18 year old (not that I would have been if I didn't have you). I learned so much about who I was, and who I wanted to be. In other words, by you I was humbled, inspired, and schooled in life. Your continuous thoughtfulness for others has never ceased to amaze me, and has made me strive to be like you in this way. Please don't ever lose this beautiful trait. Your ability to let things go and roll off your back blows me away, I try my best to mimic this but I'm not exactly successful. This can be to your advantage as you grow older for sure. Your patience with me, and others is appreciated more than you know. How do you do it?
Madeline, I pray all these and many more of your wonderful attributes are kept for a lifetime.
Madeline I pray you continue to learn more about and love our God everyday. God's mighty plan in you doesn't end in how you affected my life and so many others around us already.
Your prayers from the time you could pray on your own have always been those of deep thought and adoration for the wonderful God we serve, don't change this. Sometimes you'll feel like you're far away from God, but I will remind you he's ALWAYS there and ALWAYS loves you. What a mighty God we serve.
As you grow older you will face many challenges and heart aches. Your heart will be broken by a boy and probably more than once, keep your head up. If he felt you weren't special enough then it's by far his loss. You'll experience betrayal, I know it hurts. You'll be tempted, stand strong. You'll make wrong decisions, learn from them. You'll have failures, try again. Always do what you know is right, and stand up for what you believe in. Be who you want to be, and do what you want to do. Don't let anyone stop you, even though that might be me. Always respect those around you. You never know what somebody might be going through, and just exactly why they do what they do. For some reason I feel these are things I probably don't need to tell you, but as your momma I'll probably do this a lot. I have high expectations for you, but don't ever be afraid if you let me down or feel as if you've disappointed me. I know my mom felt that way the day I shared the news of your soon arrival, but like any good mother would she loved me anyway. I'll love you anyway. No matter what!
Your daddy loves you very much. You butt heads like brother and sister, and I believe it's because you're so much alike. You're his first princess. He's got a lot to learn about raising little girls, but he'll figure it out. He had a full ride available to play football in college, but wouldn't in a million years leave me with you to do so. You might say football is his first love, but deep down inside it's ALL his girls.
Sometimes I don't quite understand you. You enjoy being different and could care less what other people think. You can't stand to be laughed at even when you're being funny. In fact, nearly everything you say is hilarious, so I try to hide my bursting laughter inside. You don't have a competitive bone in your body, nor care a lick about sports. Right now you're a typical nine year old that is probably far less annoying than I was at your age, but you definitely rattle my nerves. Again, I appreciate your patience as you're my guinea pig for parenting. I am learning to let you be who you are, enjoy your childhood, and live carefree.
One day I pray you're blessed with an incredible God fearing husband. Don't you dare settle for anything less. With marriages failing at an alarming rate these days I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt it's because God wasn't the center of it. Being a child of a divorced home there's nothing more heart breaking, and I never ever ever ever want you to experience this. Your daddy is kind, patient (thank the Lord), and would do anything for me. I won't allow you to marry anyone less than that.
Dearest baby girl I want you to know how proud I am of you, and how much I love you! I don't say it as often as I should I'm sure, but it's true. Some might say this is a letter of what I and your daddy missed out on because of you, but I hope you feel it's quite the opposite. This is a letter of what you saved us from, and how fortunate I was for making a perfect mistake with blessings beyond measure. One day I'll share this letter with you, but I hope it won't take this letter for you to know how much you are loved.

Madeline Monday: Honesty

While coming home from school this past Friday afternoon Madeline informs me that she received her report card. I say to her, "The beatings will now begin!" (This is what my mom said to me everytime I brought a report card home, even in college.)

Madeline replies, "yeah."

I say, "Madeline, did you hear what I said?"

Madeline replies, "No, but that's what I do at the nursing home, because I can't ever hear what they say to me."

Honesty is priceless!

This is a picture of Madeline with both her Teachers. Mrs. Jessica Herrin, and Ms. Sarah Kastner. She absolutely loves them both!

Madeline Monday

Madeline is currently working on her multiplication facts. This entails us practicing EVERY chance we get. What's impressive is that she is the one that initiates the practicing. I try tricking her by jumping all over from 1 to 10. I enjoy teaching her the tricks my mom taught me, and the smile she gives when she thinks she's got a "one up" on the other kids. Let's hope this enthusiasm continues.

When I pick Madeline up from after-school care or come home in the mornings from work it's always a fun surprise to see what Madeline has picked out to wear for the day. Just this past week I picked up Madeline wearing grey pants that were way too tight, and about 4 inches off the ground. Along with her highwaters she had on a white shirt with multiple stains and her white cheer shoes which she ruined that day. I asked her how she came up with such an incredible fashion statement and all she could do was giggle incessantly the entire way to the car. I then called Bo to ask him if he had a bag over his head this am to which he giggled as well. Ohwell...

My favorite time of day is the five minutes in the car from church (after school care) to swim practice. This is the time that Madeline and Brynn tell each other about their day. Although all Brynn says is "ahhh" (please note this is not a nice sound it's highly annoying actually, but we're working on words...) it's very obvious there is conversation. Sometimes Madeline is busy doing something, and it's all Brynn can do not to break her neck as she peers around her car seat. There are other times that Brynn and Madeline giggle and laugh the whole way, and I LOVE it! This is when my heart smiles, and I can't get enough of it. I wish swim practice was further away.


Oh, and my little reader read an entire chapter book in one night this past week. Bo found her reading in bed late that night, and she reported to me the next day she "read the whole thing!"

Madeline Monday

Madeline is no ordinary little girl. She challenges me daily to be better. Whether it's a better mom, friend, or person in general. Her constant thoughtfulness of others, generosity, and genuine kindness amaze me. I have no idea how I raised such a exceptional little girl.

Madeline was born on a Wednesday a mere 3 months after my 18th birthday. After being discharged from the hospital on a Saturday, I dropped her off with my grandmother the following Monday to start my first day of college. While all of this sounds unbelievable, amazing, etc. I don't consider myself so for a minute. God had a definite plan when he created her, and I see the blessings of her life all the time.

She makes me laugh. There are many times when I can't discipline her because I'm too busy laughing. Like the time when she was having to watch Brynn so her daddy could finish up something and she asks, "How much longer?" Bo says, "10 minutes." Madeline replies, "well, that is 10 minutes too long!" ~good point

Or when she asks for cheese grits and her dad replies, "I don't know how to make them." Madeline replies, "pathetic!" ~again, good point

It's moments like this that are impossible to get onto her, because I can't stop laughing!

She makes me proud. She has recently joined the swim team and improved tremendously and loves every minute of it. She literally started crying one night when I told her that I didn't sign her up for a swim meet after she prayed that night for God to help her do well in the meet. With a mom as a long time swimmer she knows she has a lot to live up to, and she is doing just that! She also makes me proud in school. She has been on the highest reading level in her class since Kindergarten. She loves to read, I find her in her room with her nose stuck in a book everyday. I wish I could enjoy reading half as much as her. She tells me every week that she finishes her timed tests first, and I can't help but do a mini fist punch.

She also makes me, me. We only think we raise our children, and maybe other people do, but Madeline has raised me. She raised me up a little bit quicker than I would have liked, but who says we get to choose. If Madeline hadn't have come into my life, I can only imagine where I'd be. Wherever it is I know I wouldn't be as happy, blessed, or fulfilled as I am now. Madeline truly does challenge me everyday, and I feel like I'm growing up right along with her. I only hope that I have half of the incredible impact on her life that she has had on mine.